hope and a future

Day two of classes and we've made it... I know y'all are probably like "big deal, its college... ", but this is something that I have hoped for, prayed about, and worried over. After Brett and I got married, I went on a little roller coaster trying to find my purpose and "next step".

I had recently graduated from Christ For the Nations Institute and had a lot of plans that never felt quite right. After working a job that absolutely stole the life out of me all summer it was apparent to Brett and I that change was needed. I quit my job in September and began the search for purpose that would place me unemployed for seven weeks. But the Lord was and is faithful. He opened doors for me to paint custom art pieces for work and gave me time to rest and grow in Him. Being a new wife, during those months I began to feel a loss of identity, purpose, and calling on my life. I began to believe that now that I was married my dreams were now secondary and my sole purpose in life was to be a submissive, quiet housewife. (Now let me also say that none of this was from anything Brett did or said, that's how I know it was an attack from the enemy.) Long story short, after talking with a lady from church who spoke truth into my situation, I finally had a clear picture of my next step: school. I decided to start over at a community college to work towards my Bachelors in International Studies. This is the only plan that gave me peace even though it is going to be one of the more difficult plans. One obstacle that we are having to face with faith is paying for school and books, but it is already really cool to see how the Lord has given peace over the usually stressful things. Another concern I have had in entering this new season is the strain it could have on my relationship with my husband. I have prayed over the last month for the Lord's grace over us in our busyness and chaos... and I already feel His blessing.

Tonight at youth I heard a story of a man who found out that his three year old daughter had cancer last week. Soon after he posted online how the Lord knew about the cancer before they ever found it, therefore the Lord already had a plan for that little girl. Plans for hope and a future. I know my situation is not unfortunate but knowing that whatever happens in the future the Lord already knows about it and has a plan to work it out for my good gives me so much peace.

I am so excited for this future that the Lord has planned out for us, and I am thankful for the journey I took to figure out the "next step". I plan on taking each day one at a time, and asking every morning for the grace to not only make it, but grow.

Ephesians 2:8-9

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.